Another Relationship Ended
Another relationship ended, so many so fast during the past several years but perhaps that’s natural. It’s always sad but each time, I believe it’s been the right thing. This time it ended abruptly, although my inner self had been warning me for a while that it ought to end for unavoidable reasons, but it didn’t end the way I’d have hoped; I honestly think it couldn’t.
Alex is right again about how I should start my relationships, he’s very wise in a lot of things, but even if I start too fast, I do eventually think things through. I just wish I were better at transitioning and more honest at the end, but I tend to delay decisions too long in the fear of making a mistake and losing that special person, the one who’s yet to come.
Not that I’m afraid of being alone. I have a number of options with very worthwhile people. But my mind tells me to learn from the past. I don’t want to cause anyone any more pain.
I don’t believe I did anything wrong other than delay a decision, but perhaps it was a decision that deserved very full consideration, and discussing the problem would have led to the same abrupt conclusion. Criticizing one’s partner’s children is rarely productive, but living within an intolerable nucleus isn’t fruitful. I’d have wished for something positive for both of us out of this but I don’t think it will be. Still, … it’s the right thing and if my heart feels a bit guilty about having inadvertently caused anger and pain, it also feels great relief.
© Guillermo Calvo Mahé; Manizales, 2012; all rights reserved