On Wondering in Search of Whos and Whys[1]

The mind is an interesting instrument, difficult to fathom, especially as it frequently seems responsive to a different level of authority which may well be why our ancestors in different societies and cultures came up with the concept of a soul.  Specifically, right now I’m reflecting on how the harder we try to remember or grasp a memory or idea the further and faster it seems to recede.  In fact, at least in my case, when I really want to grasp one of those fleeting impressions, I’m most successful if I relax, and, as in coaxing a reluctant kitten, just let it come to me.

It works that way for me with introspection.  The harder I try to understand myself, to determine just what it is I want and who I am, the more complex and disjointed my impressions seem to become until I wonder whether the me I remember is the me I’d like to have been rather than the one I was; perhaps that’s why the bridge between us is so hazy and tenuous.  Perhaps it’s an issue related to temporal focus as well.  Perhaps it’s only when firmly planted in the present can perceptions such as I seek be attained.

Frustrating, especially when maturity ought to have unlocked those mysteries, or so one is led to suppose.