A Quest As Yet Unfulfilled

I love jade trees, I don’t quite know why and I don’t know when I first realized it. I think I must have been in my twenties and the world was thawing towards the East after a long, frigid war. As a semi-precious stone I find jade very beautiful, especially in chess pieces and Asian themed statuary, even though I’m not generally fond of pastels and jade is a translucent variant on that theme.

I wonder how jade tuned into jaded, and whether somehow in matters of love, that’s something I’ve become; seeking and expecting so much; in the beginning, always sure I’ve found it only to have it fade away all too quickly, much too soon. Should I just lower my expectations and accept the dulled delights that remain or am I right in renewing the quest for perfect amatory permanence, although acknowledgedly, perhaps I’ve done so much too frequently.

I don’t think it’s a question of fault, at least not in the vast majority of wonderful women with whom I’ve been privileged to share intimacy; although, to be honest, their ardor also cools. Is it a biological imperative as my sons perceive, those younger and wiser versions of the me I’d like to be? Or is it just a personal deficiency, or, perhaps, as I might hope, just a quest as yet unfulfilled?
© Guillermo Calvo Mahé; Manizales, 2012; all rights reserved