Sadness in Context, January 11, 2015

It’s the middle winter in the Northern Hemisphere, hard to tell so close to the equator. I look out my window at what for so long was a great white glacier overlooking a city in the sky but which lately has looked more like a strange celestial desert; as though Heaven had lost and if not Hell, then Limbo had triumphed.

I woke up sad.

I didn’t know why.

Perhaps because my vacation was coming to an end, or because it seemed that if the world were coming to an end it might be a relief. But then I checked my Facebook and there was a photo of a wedding in New York, the bride beautiful and radiant, and I understood.

Another time line cut, one that had once been full of potential and possibilities for us both but now, at least for me, just another dead end. Still, I was privileged for a brief while to know and live with one of the universe’s true treasures.

If I had a bit more class and character I would be feeling profound joy and happiness for her, perhaps I will as soon as the shock wears off. She’d told me it was coming but I’d managed to compartmentalize the news until now.

Regrets?

Perhaps not.

I did the right thing, for her, if not for me, and I believe that’s an essential aspect of true love.

I wish her happiness and joy and fulfillment, and hope she’s made the right decision.

I hope I did as well.
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© Guillermo Calvo Mahé; Manizales, 2015; all rights reserved