Bhagavan or just Deluded

“Is it time” he asked, “to leave my enchanted cavern?

He was alone so the question was rhetorical but rhetorical is not synonymous with unimportant. But he was with himself so, in a strange way, he did not feel alone, and that was part of the problem. He’d grown too satisfied with his own company.

Of course, it was neither enchanted nor a cavern. It was just beautiful and very comfortable. And it was completely his, it reflected him and no one else. At least for now.

The Bhagavan he sometimes thought, a thought that both exhilarated and shamed him. But how be the Bhagavan and hidden away at the same time? A question many too frequently asked on a much less personal level.

“Is it time” he again asked, “to leave my enchanted cavern?

And he wondered how long he’d lingered, and how he’d gotten there, and how he’d become so accustomed to being there, and so much at peace.

He remembered much more restless times but was unsure whether they were in the past or in the future, or even if they were now but somewhere else. Or if they were just the echoes of shadows cast by another.

“Interesting” he thought. “Others, … I’d forgotten there were others. And he wondered whether others still existed and whether they were still like him or he like them. And he wondered if it mattered. And he thought of love and wondered what it meant, something he could not feel but needed, or, he wondered whether that was merely adulation, something he’d once heard he craved.

If his cavern was not a cavern, then what was it, and just how was a cavern different than a cave? And just what was an enchantment? Was it inherent or external? Was it his to cast or had one instead bound him. Did it matter? Did anything matter? He recalled wondering just that for a very long time, in fact, until just now, when he’d been distracted by the thought of whether or not it was time to leave his enchanted cavern.

He’d been alone so the question was rhetorical but rhetorical is not synonymous with unimportant.

The Bhagavan he sometimes thought, a thought that both exhilarated and shamed him. But how be the Bhagavan and hidden away at the same time? A question many too frequently asked on a much less personal level.
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© Guillermo Calvo Mahé; Manizales, 2016; all rights reserved