The concept of family is, at best, in transition, at worse, just a memory. Its permanence is surely, in most cases, passé. While the plight of mothers is often articulated, that of fathers, especially fathers left behind, is virtually ignored. But some of us still manage to salvage the essence of what might have been.
My relationship with my three sons is strained at best, perhaps in some instances non-existent, but that is the present and recent past. The more distant past is beautiful from my perspective, and remains, not only vivid, but healthy and alive: I visit it frequently and its vibrant joy is not dissipated or diminished thereby. It is seemingly unquenchable, a cornucopia molded through long days and arduous nights in frequently difficult times but with yields too beautiful to adequately describe.
Living in the past is often criticized but to me that seems to be criticizing fulfillment of the fruits of one’s past sacrifices. Streams of images of my three sons as they were growing are always nearby, images preserved when hope that everything would turn out positively was more than a mere possibility, as long as I persevered. All I could ever want was inchoate and seemingly assured.
It has not turned out that way, not the way I hoped and expected, at least not for me, but the impetus of those joyous times is the wind in today’s sails, echoing with fragrances and mirages of what was and what might have been. So, rather than dwelling on what is, I revel in what was, insisting that having been real, the past is also permanent and that the love created there may be more than enough to see me through.
And that is true for so many, many, many fathers, most of whom believe that
No matter what,
It was all worthwhile.
© Guillermo Calvo Mahé; Manizales, 2022; all rights reserved. Please feel free to share with appropriate attribution.
Guillermo (“Bill”) Calvo Mahé (a sometime poet) is a writer, political commentator and academic currently residing in the Republic of Colombia (although he has primarily lived in the United States of America of which he is also a citizen). Until 2017 he chaired the political science, government and international relations programs at the Universidad Autónoma de Manizales. He is currently a strategic analyst employed by Qest Consulting Group, Inc. He has academic degrees in political science (the Citadel), law (St. John’s University), international legal studies (New York University) and translation and linguistic studies (the University of Florida’s Center for Latin American Studies). He can be contacted at email@example.com and much of his writing is available through his blog at http://www.guillermocalvo.com.