Not as Much as One Might Suppose

Not as Much as One Might Suppose[1]


I can still remember that day in the house on 22nd street, just below 25th Avenue in Manizales as though it were yesterday.  Well, maybe not the day, I know it wasn’t raining and it must have been spring-like, but those are just assumptions.  What I do remember is my mood, … bored, … a bit petulant … and wondering why it was taking so long to grow up.

That was about sixty-two years ago.

Today, not all that far geographically, a few miles perhaps, but very, very far temporally, I find that perhaps my emotions haven’t changed as much as one would suppose, and that amazing as it may seem, I may still be wondering the same thing.

There’s been a lot of water under the bridge and many, many more experiences than the average man might be expected to have lived (can’t say enjoyed, too many of them have been unpleasant), but all in all, how much have I really learned about who I am and what I want?  I fear not all that much – and that may be optimistic.

Not that I haven’t learned a lot about a lot of things: history, politics, people, nature, physics and the universe, even divinity; but about me, perhaps not so much.  So, … if we’re here as sensory organs for the divine, to permit it to grow and learn, I think I’ve done a good job, but if we’re here to learn about who we are, I’m afraid that at best I’ve gotten a very generous incomplete.

I wonder when I’ll grow up?

[1] © Guillermo Calvo Mahé; Manizales, 2011; all rights reserved